Connecting With Old Friends During The Pandemic

It's been quite a while since I've posted on this blog space. But the spirit has moved me. So, here goes.

 For almost the last two and a half years I have been Zooming with a number of men that I went to school with for high school and two years of college (in a Catholic minor seminary). Not all of us were there for the full six years. Some came to this particular seminary after high school. Others left before the full six years.

The group was started by one of our classmates, near the start of the Covid-19 pandemic. My recollection is that he reached out to his classmates because he was feeling the need to connect with others after spending some time at the start of the pandemic isolating at home. He reached out to some whose emails he had and solicited the emails of other classmates from them.

The group started out as a social gathering, with people sharing information about what they had been doing over the past 50 some years (careers, families, grandchildren, etc.). After a while, someone in the group asked if any other participants would be interested in doing a book club on Zoom. A number of people were interested and our book club began. Having all been in the seminary and many of us having continued our interest in religion, we started reading books with a religious/spiritual orientation. (Some of the books we have read have not been religion-oriented but most have.) After another period of time, someone asked whether anyone would be interested in having a non-religious focused discussion group. Again, a number of people were interested. So a second off-shoot group began. We decided that each week one of us would pick a topic and lead the discussion. Usually the person leading the discussion will send out material ahead of time. This usually consists of articles and videos that can be accessed on the internet. The “secular” discussion group starts at 4:30 most Wednesdays, with the book club following at 5:30. Most of the 10-12 men involved participate in both groups, although some have other commitments that allow them to participate in only one. Also, on any given week, there will be some who are not able to attend because of other commitments. A social group Zoom get-together continues to be held on Thursday evenings.

As expected, this group of men who attended a minor seminary near Baltimore, MD, have spread out over the years to many parts of the country. Our leader, who started the group, lives in North Carolina. The others who regularly participate in the discussion group and book club live in disparate locations, including Maryland, Georgia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Texas, Oklahoma, California, Alaska and Guam. Also, as expected, the participants have had diverse careers. Of the individuals who have participated in all three groups, there are a number of priests (most are retired); there are some who were ordained and have left active ministry to pursue other careers. Of those who left active ministry or were not ordained, the careers involved working in the fields of law, psychology, counseling, education, civil service, (state and federal), mental health, hospice care, hospital administration and marine biology.

When we first started our Zoom get-togethers, what we shared was our common minor seminary experience. That was a starting point. Towards the beginning, after the group gained some momentum, there were a larger number of participants than we now have in our discussion group and book club. Some participated early on and then stopped. Some join the social get-together periodically. The current participants in the discussion group and book club have mostly been attending consistently for the last two and a half years. i think it’s that on-going getting together almost every week for an extended period of time that has brought us closer together. People in those two groups have frequently commented about how important these get-togethers have become for them and how grateful they are for the relationships that have developed through these sessions.

I’ve been thinking about why this group developed and what keeps people coming back week after week. Although we all shared the common experience of the minor seminary, we’ve had different careers and experiences since then. We seem to share a similar progressive philosophy toward political and spiritual matters. (Some might dispute my labeling their philosophy as progressive.) But there are a lot of differing opinions within that general framework. A number of people have expressed that the group offers them the opportunity to talk about serious topics with others. They do not have situations within their regular everyday lives to do that. My experience is that, despite the differences of opinion people in the group may have, we treat each other with dignity and respect and are willing to listen to opinions we may not agree with.

After thinking about this a lot, I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to describe this group and it’s reason for existing and continuing is “community”. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines “community” as a unified body of individuals; such as: the people with common interests living in a particular area; a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society; a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society; a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political concerns. As I thought about community, I thought about the various communities I have been a part of during my lifetime. A community can be a group of people living in a specific geographical area. But, I think a more significant meaning of the word involves a group of people who share common interests and who support each other in their lives and their endeavors. Sometimes these communities last for many years. Sometimes they are more short-term. But, whether they are long-term or short-term, they help give our lives meaning and a sense of belonging. That is the sense that I have about the larger group that shares things through emails and the groups that get together weekly on Zoom. We have shared our life-experiences, our thoughts about spirituality and politics, our condolences for losses members have experienced, our concerns and support about illnesses or surgeries, our congratulations for good things happening in others’ lives, etc. Thankfully, because of technology such as Zoom and email, we don’t have to be physically in the same location to do this. Here’s to “community”!

PS - In my next blog entry, I’ll talk more about communities I’ve been involved with during my lifetime.

New Year's Eve in Belfast Maine

New Year's is frequently a time of reflection for people. For many, it's a time to make New Year's resolutions. There was a time in my life when I would spend the day before New Year's Day reading books that encouraged reflection. Many times they were spiritual books. It's been a while since I did that.

This year, my wife Pat and I spent New Year's Eve in Maine with some friends. As we've done on a couple previous New Year's Eves, we attended the New Year's By the Bay celebration in Belfast, Maine. There were many performers in a variety of venues. Most are from Maine. We saw four different performers. Our favorites were The Gawler Family and Hawk Henries. They were relevant acts for the NewYear for different reasons.

We've seen The Gawler Family perform before and always enjoy their performances. The thing that struck me most during this year's performance was how much fun they seemed to be having. They clearly enjoyed what they were doing and enjoyed the people they were performing with. There was a lot of looking at each other and smiling. They also seemed to enjoy their audience. There were a few songs where the audience got to participate and the Gawler Family seemed to be energized by the audience participation. It was a rousing performance, with people dancing in aisles during the last instrumental song.

The Gawler Family band includes the father and mother, three daughters and a son-in-law. I had a difficult time finding a video of the entire Gawler family that I thought presented well what they do. So, I'm adding two links here: one of the parents performing with two of the daughters; and one of the 3 sisters performing.

Hawk Henries' performance was a completely different experience. Hawk Henries is a Native American flute maker and player from Maine. His performance involved him talking about the flutes he would play and instrumental performances of those flutes. For me, listening to the flutes provided a meditative experience. It was easy to close my eyes and let the soft, mellow music just float through my body. Here's an example of his music.

So, two very different types of performances. But they were both significant to me as New Year's experiences. The Gawler Family performance provided a joyful experience of interpersonal relationships. For the coming year, I pray that all people can learn to interact with each other in a respectful and joyful way, that will lead to a more loving and peaceful world. Hawk Henries' performance points more toward an inner experience of peace. There is so much going on in our world. We can become so fascinated by technology, so much involved in our work and family activities that we don't take the time to sit quietly and give ourselves some time away from the hustle and bustle. I also pray we can all allow ourselves the "luxury" of this quiet time and that it will fortify us and help us build a solid inner core, so we can more easily deal with the rest of what comes at us in life.

Happy New Year!

Happy Retirement, Fr. Brian!

I’ve always felt that, as Catholics, we need to have both an inner spiritual life and an outward life of Christian action in the world.  We have to have be prayerful and contemplative, spending time establishing a relationship with God and making the teachings of the Bible part of our lives.  But, we also have to act on those teachings, bringing God’s love to others.  However, I have to admit, my inclination is more toward the action-in-the-world aspect of my religion.

A couple weeks ago my wife, Pat, and I attended a retirement party for a priest friend who is a great example of bringing God’s love to others.  Fr. Brian McCormick lived and worked in the Wilbur section of Trenton, NJ, for 42 years as a living sign of the love of God in this world.  Initially, the home where he lived and welcomed others into was called The Martin House.  Over the time he lived and worked there, it developed into The Martin HouseFoundation: A Community for Justice.  The programs sponsored by MHFCJ include rehabbing and building homes, Boy Scout and Girl Scout programs, an early learning center, a homeless shelter, a used clothing/thrift store, a summer camp program, and more.

A major part of the Martin House Foundation is Better Community Housing of Trenton. Over the past 42 years, BCHT has renovated or built a total of 167 homes.  Its process is similar to Habitat for Humanity, in that it relies on volunteers to help renovate and build the homes, the prospective homeowners have to put sweat equity into the home and homeowners receive a low-cost mortgage that is interest-free.  But it goes beyond that, in that it is a job-training program for young people who live in the neighborhood.  Working alongside skilled craftsmen, they learn marketable skills that will help them improve their lives and their employment prospects.

There were about 300 guests at Fr. Brian’s retirement party.  They included family, friends, BCHT home owners, people from the Wilbur section and employees  and volunteers of The Martin House family of programs.  While there were tributes and declarations from city and state politicians, the most moving words came from individuals who had been helped by the Martin House programs.  There were women who had been involved in the drill team as teenagers, who are now working as social workers.  Homeowners who talked about how home ownership had changed their lives.  And volunteers who talked about how helping renovate and build the homes had made such a big difference in their lives.  But most of all, they talked about Fr. Brian and how much they admired him for all he had done for their community.  More than one person said that he had saved their lives.

Fr. Brian’s ministry at Martin House was different from most parish priests.  Although many parishes have some ministries to focus on the poor and the needy, it frequently seems like a small slice of the pie.  For Fr. Brian, it was most of the pie, if not the whole pie.  Thinking about Fr. Brian’s work in Trenton brings to mind Jesus being criticized for spending so much time with the poor, the sick, the leprous, the sinners.  I think of Him saying that at the end of time he will welcome into his kingdom those who fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, clothed the naked, welcomed the stranger and cared for the sick.

Now, Fr. Brian is retired.  His ministry to the people of the Wilbur section is done.  But his vision lives on in the organization he founded and nurtured over the last 42 years.  Throughout those years, he created, cultivated and reinforced a culture that will continue to have a very positive influence on the Wilbur section.  And we are all better off because of it.  Thank God for Fr. Brian McCormick!

Here’s a picture of Pat and me with Fr. Brian on the day of the party.

Thomas Merton

There once was a convert to Catholicism who entered the Gethsemani Trappist Monastery in Kentucky when he was 27 years old.  He died 27 years later, in 1968.  He is one of the best-known Catholic writers of our time.  He wrote books about theology and spirituality, and books about contemporary social issues (e.g., racism, war and nuclear proliferation).  He was also a poet and photographer.  To his brother monks in the monastery, he was known as Father Louis.  But to his readers, he was known by his given name, Thomas Merton.

One of the things that I like about Merton is that he viewed life as a journey and believed that he could always learn more, always improve his understanding of himself and his relationship to God.  As a Trappist monk, he was of course focused on prayer and deepening his understanding of God and his relationship to God.  He studied the lives and writings of saints and spiritual writers who had preceded him.  He learned whatever he could about monastic life.  He was deeply committed to his monastic vocation.  However, he was not constricted by the traditional structure of Catholic monasticism.  He was always open to new ideas.  Toward the end of his life, he became very interested in Eastern religions (e.g., Zen Buddhism, Sufism).  In these religions, he saw monks who were able to achieve transcendence that was similar to the contemplative experience of God that those in the Western religious traditions might achieve.  He believed he could learn from these Eastern monks lessons that would help enrich and complement his Catholic faith.

Contemplation was very important to Merton.  He wrote a number of books that focused on that subject.  But he also understood the need for Christian action in the world.  I admire the way he respected both these important aspects of Christianity.  Merton believed that solitude was very important in people’s lives.  For himself, he advocated for years for the opportunity to live as a hermit.  For the last 3 years of his life he was able to do this, living alone in a hermitage on the grounds of Gethsemani.  For those of us not living in a monastery, Merton believed that contemplation and solitude could help us to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and focus on the important things of life.  This contemplation and solitude help us experience God’s love in a deeper way and then lead us to bring God’s love to the world through social action.

One of the other things that I like about Thomas Merton is how down-to-earth he seemed.  Despite his being a well-known author, whose books were read around the world, the other monks at Gethsemani typically regarded him as just a brother monk.  And that is the way he saw himself.  His journals show that he was anything but perfect.  He struggled with obedience to his superiors throughout his monastic life.  Other monks described how he could be curt and abrupt when he thought a conversation was not worth having.  So, despite his great understanding of the spiritual life and his valuable writings that have guided so many others, we see Merton struggling in his spiritual journey, just as we do.

I admire Merton’s dedication to his faith, his journey to deepen that faith and draw closer to God throughout his life, his recognition of the importance of both contemplation and faith-driven social action, and a recognition of his ongoing struggle to become the best person he could be.  His writings cover a wide range of topics, so there might be something for everyone’s interests.  I’m listing some of them below.

Spirituality

Seven Story Mountain (autobiography from birth to life in the monastery)

New Seeds of Contemplation

No Man Is an Island

Contemplation in a World of Action

The Wisdom of the Desert

Social Action

Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

Cold War Letters

Raids on the Unspeakable

Spirituality of the East

The Way of Chuang Tzu

Mystics and Zen Masters

Zen and the Birds of Appetite

Also, here’s a link to a webpage about Merton on the Abbey of Gethsemani website.  It includes a picture of Merton.