It's been quite a while since I've posted on this blog space. But the spirit has moved me. So, here goes.
For almost the last two and a half years I have been Zooming with a number of men that I went to school with for high school and two years of college (in a Catholic minor seminary). Not all of us were there for the full six years. Some came to this particular seminary after high school. Others left before the full six years.
The group was started by one of our classmates, near the start of the Covid-19 pandemic. My recollection is that he reached out to his classmates because he was feeling the need to connect with others after spending some time at the start of the pandemic isolating at home. He reached out to some whose emails he had and solicited the emails of other classmates from them.
The group started out as a social gathering, with people sharing information about what they had been doing over the past 50 some years (careers, families, grandchildren, etc.). After a while, someone in the group asked if any other participants would be interested in doing a book club on Zoom. A number of people were interested and our book club began. Having all been in the seminary and many of us having continued our interest in religion, we started reading books with a religious/spiritual orientation. (Some of the books we have read have not been religion-oriented but most have.) After another period of time, someone asked whether anyone would be interested in having a non-religious focused discussion group. Again, a number of people were interested. So a second off-shoot group began. We decided that each week one of us would pick a topic and lead the discussion. Usually the person leading the discussion will send out material ahead of time. This usually consists of articles and videos that can be accessed on the internet. The “secular” discussion group starts at 4:30 most Wednesdays, with the book club following at 5:30. Most of the 10-12 men involved participate in both groups, although some have other commitments that allow them to participate in only one. Also, on any given week, there will be some who are not able to attend because of other commitments. A social group Zoom get-together continues to be held on Thursday evenings.
As expected, this group of men who attended a minor seminary near Baltimore, MD, have spread out over the years to many parts of the country. Our leader, who started the group, lives in North Carolina. The others who regularly participate in the discussion group and book club live in disparate locations, including Maryland, Georgia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Texas, Oklahoma, California, Alaska and Guam. Also, as expected, the participants have had diverse careers. Of the individuals who have participated in all three groups, there are a number of priests (most are retired); there are some who were ordained and have left active ministry to pursue other careers. Of those who left active ministry or were not ordained, the careers involved working in the fields of law, psychology, counseling, education, civil service, (state and federal), mental health, hospice care, hospital administration and marine biology.
When we first started our Zoom get-togethers, what we shared was our common minor seminary experience. That was a starting point. Towards the beginning, after the group gained some momentum, there were a larger number of participants than we now have in our discussion group and book club. Some participated early on and then stopped. Some join the social get-together periodically. The current participants in the discussion group and book club have mostly been attending consistently for the last two and a half years. i think it’s that on-going getting together almost every week for an extended period of time that has brought us closer together. People in those two groups have frequently commented about how important these get-togethers have become for them and how grateful they are for the relationships that have developed through these sessions.
I’ve been thinking about why this group developed and what keeps people coming back week after week. Although we all shared the common experience of the minor seminary, we’ve had different careers and experiences since then. We seem to share a similar progressive philosophy toward political and spiritual matters. (Some might dispute my labeling their philosophy as progressive.) But there are a lot of differing opinions within that general framework. A number of people have expressed that the group offers them the opportunity to talk about serious topics with others. They do not have situations within their regular everyday lives to do that. My experience is that, despite the differences of opinion people in the group may have, we treat each other with dignity and respect and are willing to listen to opinions we may not agree with.
After thinking about this a lot, I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to describe this group and it’s reason for existing and continuing is “community”. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines “community” as a unified body of individuals; such as: the people with common interests living in a particular area; a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society; a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society; a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political concerns. As I thought about community, I thought about the various communities I have been a part of during my lifetime. A community can be a group of people living in a specific geographical area. But, I think a more significant meaning of the word involves a group of people who share common interests and who support each other in their lives and their endeavors. Sometimes these communities last for many years. Sometimes they are more short-term. But, whether they are long-term or short-term, they help give our lives meaning and a sense of belonging. That is the sense that I have about the larger group that shares things through emails and the groups that get together weekly on Zoom. We have shared our life-experiences, our thoughts about spirituality and politics, our condolences for losses members have experienced, our concerns and support about illnesses or surgeries, our congratulations for good things happening in others’ lives, etc. Thankfully, because of technology such as Zoom and email, we don’t have to be physically in the same location to do this. Here’s to “community”!
PS - In my next blog entry, I’ll talk more about communities I’ve been involved with during my lifetime.
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